Hamburg, Germany The 6th of February 6, 2013
This is the birth-story of Alexander-Johannes born on the 24th of December 2012.
I was so sure in the beginning of this pregnancy that I want a different experience than last times. My first child was a mini-preemie of 700 grams born at 27 weeks. What a miracle 17 years ago! But the experience of the birth was so traumatic (it was treated as an abortion) and the hospitalization was so long that I’ve said to myself that I would never have children in my life again…
My second child was born in 2010 by C-section. I was preparing all of my pregnancy for a water birth. I’ve chosen a hospital and all my plans were falling apart. From the fist visit they told me I will be induced on the Guess Date (due date). I was not so happy about that, knowing that this can be extremely painful and can lead to other interventions. I’ve asked for another consultation expressing my concern and wishes (that I want everything to start of its own), they made me another ecography telling me this time that the baby is already too big, weighting more than 4300 grams (9 1/2 lb) and I won’t be able to deliver her vaginally. And I’ve believed them! The next day I had the C-section. The baby girl was 3900 grams (8 1/2 lb), not 4300 and we had a real hard time to breastfeed (she was bottle-fed with my expressed milk until she was 15 months) and to recover after operation.
So… the next child was coming and this time I wanted to make everything right. I did a lot of research and ate good vegetarian food (last time I was so fat and close to gestational diabetes). I’ve realized how manipulated I was the last time and how much damage has this done to me and to my family. Even though I’ve been seeing the same Gynecologist as last time, I was not so afraid anymore and I was not always listening to the “risk – stories” she always told me. I remember that in the last part of the pregnancy she asked every time if I was sure I want to have my baby in a Birth Center.
I was so thrilled when I’ve discovered Hypnobabies! I live in Europe and I’ve ordered the Self-Study Course. The positive feedback of the other moms made me trust Hypnobabies so much, that I didn’t what to try the Mongan method that was more known in Europe. The precious package was coming exactly 6 weeks before my Guess Date and I was so anxious to start right away. My toddler girl, 2 years old, made this many times impossible, but I was trying hard, even if I was falling in sleep most of the times when listening before bed.
Unfortunately, my husband was many times gone and it was so hard for him to tune up with me, doing his part of the practice. Even when he was home, we hardly found time to practice together because of our little daughter. So, I said to myself that if single moms can do this, I can do it. Nevertheless, I’ve explain the concept and the techniques to my husband. The sessions relaxed me so much and gave me so much confidence.
As the time was passing by, I was anxious to meet my baby and to live a nice birthing experience. We visited the Birth Center as I was 36 weeks and they told me I can have my baby there starting next week… I’ve explained to the midwives that I want to use autohypnosis and they were familiar with it. They had 33% of the births – water births. I was so happy.
So… the day comes…It is 4-5 am, I am sleeping. The water breaks. Hmmm, I feel warm and wet in my dream but I don’t wake up. Mild, but different as before contractions start and I wake up at 6.30, realizing that this is the real thing. I am 39 weeks and…it’s Christmas Day. Wow… we used to joke about getting the baby for Christmas, so, be careful what you wish for! I went in the living room and started to listen to the Birthing Day Affirmations, Fear Clear Session and Your birth guide, Easy First Stage having contractions every 10 minutes. They were pretty strong and in a short time they became more frequent, even to 4-5 minutes.
When my husband woke up I told him the news and he was jumping for excitement. He called the midwives at 9 a.m. and after another half of hour I was speaking with the one in duty that day. I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t the same midwife I had the previous meetings, but I was calmed down by her warmly voice. I said to her that I feel that it’s going fast this time and she said we should better head on to the center. I’ve called my friend to take care of my little girl and I was hoping that I won’t be gone too long because she wasn’t used to stay without me. We were at the Birth Center at 12 am. When we’ve arrived, I’ve found out that the room with the bathtub was taken, there was another woman birthing there. I was a little disappointed again, but being prepared that things like that could happen I said “ok” and they put me in the smaller room.
The midwife was young, nice and very positive; I’ve resonated with her from the first minute. She asked me what do I listen to on my iPod and I’ve explained and she was open to it. She checked me and I was 2 cm but my cervix was very soft, “butter-like”. I’ve asked her if I could go home ( I was thinking all the time of my daughter ) and she said that things could go really fast sometimes, considering that I was so relaxed, she wouldn’t recommend it. So, I let my husband go, hoping that he would come back in time Anna ( the midwife ) wasn’t all the time with me and I could listen to my CDs, but from time to time she came in and disturbed me to make some procedures, I wasn’t so happy about this. In this very moment I’d wished I had a doula or my husband there reminding her to let me alone in my trance.
I’ve realized that I couldn’t concentrate enough. The pressure waves were sometimes painful, but supportable. Anna came in around 3 pm telling me that I can move because the other woman had to go to the hospital. Wow… so I can get my water-birth after all! That was great news (but I felt compassionately sorry for the other woman). She went to prepare the bath for me, letting me again alone with my CDs. When the things became pretty intense I told her I want to get in the bathtub. She asked me if I want to know how dilatated I am and I said “No, I don’t want to know because I feel my baby will be here soon”. It was 4 pm when I got in the water and that was so nice! My husband was there too, just in time. I’ve tried to listen to Your birth guide, Pushing Baby Out on my iPod, but I wasn’t so successful because I had always to move, to change positions during the pressure waves. So, here I am, holding my husband’s hand closely to break it, completely “on another planet”. I try to use anesthesia but it’s not working so efficient. I say to myself: “You should have been more consequent with your daily practice…” But I don’t complain, once I say “Please baby, come out!” and everybody is laughing. I just make an aaaaaahhhh loud sound during the pressure waves. Actually, this is good; as the mouth is opened the cervix is opening.
Anna is very supportive and tells me how good I am. In no time (seemed to me like 20 minutes after I was in the bathtub) I feel the urge to push. I instinctively stand on my knees and protect my perineum with my hands. The pain is gone, it’s just pressure. I know that soon I will meet my baby but I am not in the hurry, I use only the power of the pressure wave and I remember to breathe for my baby. 1, 2 and with the third the baby’s head comes out. One more and I feel the baby’s body coming out; I catch him with my hands and bring him on my chest. “Wow!” – says my husby.Anna didn’t get the chance to touch the baby. It is 5.17 pm. I cuddle with my baby and shed a tear saying that “I cannot believe I did it”. But he is there, in my arms, looking straight to my eyes like saying: “No, we did it, mummy”. Three hours later we drive to home.
This was the best gift I could ever get for Christmas! Thank you, Hypnobabies! I’ve got the birth that I wanted, almost exactly as I’ve imagined. And not only that I’ve got a baby, I’ve got my dignity and power back, I’ve got confidence and I am transformed human for the rest of my life, I’ve found myself! Even if I didn’t have a completely painless experience, I am sure that the method is working perfectly when practiced as recommended, not as I did.
Discovering Hypnobabies and the entire natural birth movement made me realize that I want to be a part of that, I want to help also other women to lose their fears and wake up, stand up for themselves, take their lives in their hands. During the pregnancy I’ve signed up for a doula course in 2013 and I know that someday I would fly to St.Louis to take the Hypnobabies Instructor Training. THANK YOU! God bless you all! You bring peace to this world.
Sincerely yours, Simona Pickhardt