Summer’s 2nd Hypno-baby First Home Birth
“IT’S A BOY!!! IT’S A BOY!!! DARNELL IT’S A BOY!!!!” at this point I’m uncontrollable, ugly crying. I cuddle my little squirmy SON and am yelling to my mom in the back room for her and Cora to come out to the living room.”
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Exactly like I had “practiced” during my “Visualize Your Birth” track (Hypnobabies track to help visualize birth), my water broke shortly after putting Cora to bed. Darnell was outside doing Jeep- Man-friend things and I went outside and was trying to not act like a crazy lady and said, “I think my water just broke” and the look on his friends’ faces was priceless, wide-eyed and “yikes, gotta go!” Haha.
I had felt consistent waves (Hypnobabies word for contractions) for about a week so the minor, inconsistent waves I was feeling weren’t alarming so I decided to shower. I got out of the shower to Darnell blowing up the tub and saging the house (ladies, GET YOU A MAN who sages your house unprompted before you begin your birthing time!!! *all the swooning*). I laid down on the couch with Cora who of course had woken up by now and wanted to join the living room party.
I woke up about 4 hours later around 2 AM to stronger waves and rode them for about another hour before deciding to have Darnell call Ashly to head over since they were now strong enough that I was unable to talk through them. After getting into the tub, I realized this was a pivotal time in my birthing time (Hypnobabies word for labor). I began to turn inward. I began to pay attention to every single muscle movement, every twitch, every pressure point.
After a while, I was feeling like baby was moving down but it felt like one step forward two steps back. It just didn’t feel “right”, nothing was wrong, my body was just telling me it was too relaxed and I needed to do a little work! I got out of the tub and leaned over the couch, which immediately felt much better, and by better I mean stronger and purposeful Haha. I felt the need to move my legs in different positions so I tried a few angles but wanted to rest my legs. As soon as I stood up I felt something between my legs and immediately thought, “that CANNOT be the baby already!” but I reached down and felt my bag of waters protruding out.
Into the bathroom, I waddled! As soon as the next wave started, my second bag of waters ruptured. Since I was relaxed and baby was now probably a little lower with my water ruptured, we listened to baby’s heart rate before and during the wave. All sounded good but my legs started falling asleep (how the hell do men poop for more than 15 minutes but during birthing time I couldn’t relax in that position?!).
I tried kneeling over the side of the tub for a bit but wanted to try and help baby move down more and I knew I needed to be more upright to let gravity do its thing. As much as I wanted to relax, the whole reason I got out of the tub was to work WITH baby to move down so I wanted to keep moving and trying different positions to allow for the descending to happen. Things picked up STRONGER and closer together–baby was definitely moving down so I wanted to get back into the water since I helped things progress a little.
After helping adjust the temperature of the water, Darnell got in with me and I specifically remember thinking, “Oh thank God, I could use some cuddles!” as soon as I realized he was stepping in. He provided some BOMB ass hip compressions that felt like Jesus himself was giving counter pressure on my back. We had talked extensively prior to my birthing time about how I needed to be vocal and communicate my needs this birth since we were birthing unassisted and one of the things we both agreed on is my breathing needed coaching.
I was tending to hold my breath through waves with Cora’s birth which was really causing me to lose focus, in turn causing a spiral downhill of feeling out of control. We both recognized pretty early on old habits die hard and once things were picking up, I was doing the same thing. I had asked for a physical cue to remind me to breathe if he noticed I was doing this and we decided a gentle rub on my arm would be it. I relaxed into him for several waves and again started feeling like baby was moving down and then going back up again when the wave was over.
After a handful of breathing cues, I realized that him rubbing any *up* direction was altering my ability to visualize the baby moving down and instead this would reverse my visualization to baby going back up! (Crazy how the mind works!) So, I asked for only rubs *down*. Surprisingly (not to me though lol) this worked and I felt like baby was going down down down. I didn’t feel like I had to *push*, but each wave my body would bear down to try and keep baby down, to no avail.
I focused on my breathing during waves and even noticed that my breathing was much more controlled with COLD washcloths alternating on my neck, it was a physical reminder to breathe. It sort of took my breath away counteracting the warmth my body felt in the water (think of being in a sauna and sticking your hand in an ice bowl). It caused me to breathe deep but I was able to focus on my breath while also repeating “open” and “relax” to cue my body to also do those things.
(I was S.O. sick of saying these two words and I apologized to Ashly and Darnell for sounding so silly saying them and dragging them out so long but also told them I don’t care how silly it was because it was working! Haha “Sorry not sorry”, yeah?!) Soon, I knew it was time to get out of the water. It felt good through the waves but my body was enjoying the relaxing a little too much and wasn’t able to do the work it needed to do in order to move baby down. Back to the couch!
Once I was out of the water, I felt the very next wave coming on as soon as I stood up. I wanted to squat but wanted to lay down so I kind of laid on my side with my leg up and immediately felt the need to push the following wave. I had already asked Darnell to change my track to Pushing Baby Out (Hypnobabies special track just for pushing) a few minutes before because I knew it was coming. I could feel the baby moving down and the pressure was building, baby was finally not going back up anymore! I really tried to dig deep and calm down because with Cora’s birth I pushed 3 times and she was out but I had little control, I just pushed. So, I tried to breathe but once I felt baby’s head crowning, I just pushed.
The wave stopped and I looked down and saw a head! My baby was coming. I continued to breathe heavy, trying to fight the urge to just push like I did with Cora but even with my heavy breaths I felt like my uterus was still pushing. Out came baby before the next wave. I was looking at Ashly and she was pointing at baby, so I looked down to see Darnell flipping baby around to unravel the cord from baby’s neck and body, and I saw a penis!! “IT’S A BOY!!! IT’S A BOY!!! DARNELL IT’S A BOY!!!!” at this point I’m uncontrollable, ugly crying. I cuddle my little squirmy SON and am yelling to my mom in the back room for her and Cora to come out to the living room.
The following hour was filled with the first latch, soaking in all his features (which including giggling constantly at his crooked, squished nose from being pressed up against my uterus 😂), birthing the placenta and repeating to myself “you did it, YOU FREAKING DID IT”. The sacred space Darnell and Ashly (and my mom) held was exactly what I needed to feel completely relaxed and confident in my body to birth my baby. They understood I did not need them to fix anything or make my discomfort go away, (they too entirely believed in the autonomous birthing woman), it was reflective of the support they gave through my entire birthing time.
My entire third trimester was focused on releasing anxiety and expectations from what this birth would look like and rooting in being 100% open to what this baby needed from me, and I absolutely feel I accomplished that. I have never in my entire 29 years of life felt more tapped into my body- every twitch, every movement Rebel made, every energy shift through the entirety of the waves as they came and went. Being able to birth on my own terms allowed me to apply what I learned from my last birthing times but more so not view any part of the ebbs and flows as problems needing solved, but as a second half of a flow of energy shifting to help my baby do what he needed to do to join us earthside.
📷 @Blissful Womb Birth Services
“When we allow ourselves to ride the waves,
When we are open to the experiences we subconsciously seek,
When we trust ourselves as the experts of our own bodies…
Powerful & magical things will happen”
“Childbirth is a drug in itself. It changes your conscious just as it stretches your skin. It all takes care of itself and it just happens” –Ina May Gaskin
