First Time Mom Brochie’s Amazing Home Birth
“I couldn’t believe I just pushed a live human out of my body. A human with a head, body, heart, fingers and everything. I looked at her and her eyes stared wonderingly into mine. I reached for her hand, and she right away held tightly onto my pinky. I smiled and said, you did great baby, and you’re safe here with momma.”
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I was 38.5 weeks. It was April 30th, 2:28 am and a first time mom.
The world was quiet and asleep.
But I was woken up.
And something told me, someone else was waking up with me.
I had a powerful abdominal birth wave (Hypnobabies term for contraction). It was a bit more powerful than the practice ones I’ve had for 6 weeks.
2:33 I called my husband.
Hi dear, you gotta come back from the wedding filming right now. Baby is coming today.
Baby is coming?! Yes!
The day we awaited and prepared so much for is finally here. Our home birth.
We were so excited.
2:35 came another, slightly stronger one.
I began to document them.
I started to feel cold and shiverish.
I noticed a bloody show.
And felt so much excitement.
Today is going to be my baby’s birthday!
The birth wave moved toward my lower back.
I called my doula and she said she would stay on the phone with me while I showered and worked through all the birth waves until I progressed more and until she would come.
My husband supported me through them all.
He remembered about turning on the hypnosis tracks and was on top of changing them based on each stage of my birthing time (Hypnobabies term for labor)! When the first track of, Your Birthing Time Begins (Hypnobabies reminder track of all the tools for birthing), went on, we both smiled and felt emotional and excited. I felt so proud.
By 5:30 am I called my midwife.
6 am and my doula quietly entered, removed her shoes and tiptoed into my living room.
She sat down next to me, laid her hand on me and whispered, how are you doing?
I felt overwhelmed with emotion and love. My baby is being born today, I’ll be a mother, and I have someone here who genuinely cares about me.
The vomiting began and progressed.
The birth waves got more intense and sharper, and my doula immediately stepped into her masseuse role.
6:30 am and sunrise colors were appearing over the ocean.
My husband headed out back to the beach, while my doula and I went to the porch to watch the ocean during my birth waves.
When my husband returned, my doula instructed him to inflate the birth pool.
7 am, and in walked my midwife.
She looked assertive and ready, and headed to my bedroom to set up for my home birth. I called her back smiled and said, you walked past me without a hug? She came in for a big hug, and again I felt so held, so taken care of.
She asked if she could check me, and I refused. I said the waves were too intense.
My doula whispered; I know it’s uncomfortable but she needs to know where you’re at. It’ll be quick.
I said OK if it bothers me, you’ll stop.
No problem, she said.
I didn’t want to know how dilated I was. I didn’t want to give it any meaning and wanted to just stay focused on my breathing and positive affirmations.
When can I head to the pool? I asked.
She said, oh whenever you want.
So, then I knew I must have been past 6 cm, since I wouldn’t have been able to get in before I would be 6.
Mendel went to the bedroom to fill up the pool.
I headed toward my bedroom and felt enveloped by the beauty of birth.
The day prior I decorated my walls with nature backdrops and birthing affirmation cards strung all over them.
The walls had colored twinkle lights dangling from the ceiling to the floor for my home birth. My peppermint, eucalyptus, and lavender oils were ready, and Hypnobabies affirmations were playing. My husband had relaxing spa music playing. The mood was set exactly how I had wanted it.
Just before the next birth wave, I turned on my favorite song I had listened to at the end of my pregnancy.
It was the Israeli song about having conquered all challenges in the past and how this one would be no different and no big deal.
I felt emotional, excited and empowered.
Soon after I entered the warm pool, I felt much relief.
The second midwife soon arrived, and I felt, wow, it’s really happening.
I felt so taken care of and so powerful. Everyone was coming to my space and doing what I needed to feel safe and comfortable.
I felt God holding my hand on the Jewish holy day of Lag Baomer and knew all would go well.
I reminded everyone at that point that I didn’t want to see the clock or hear any conversation or loud voices.
The next few hours were a rhythm of vomiting and birth waves, all intensifying.
With every wave, I imagined my Special Safe Place. It was in a cabana with my husband and baby, watching the ocean waves come and go. When they would come, it was with a birth wave, and then they would retreat, along with the ocean waves.
My team just sat by the pool watching me, and taking turns massaging me through every wave.
Each of them had a line they repeated when they intensified.
My midwife would say, look at your affirmations.
My doula would say, let it wash over you.
The midwife assistant would say, stay above it.
My husband would say, you’re so strong.
And all would remind me to keep breathing through them and that I was doing great.
With every birth wave that felt very intense, I had my mantra that I had repeated daily throughout my pregnancy. Each birth wave brings my baby closer to me. So, with every strong wave I felt joy, knowing that I was one step closer to holding my precious baby.
Throughout the day, my husband would keep bringing in boiled water to keep the pool warm. He brought me water to drink, protein drinks and bars, and smoothie ices that my friend had prepared for my birth.
The birth waves picked up more intensity and got closer together. I asked my husband to read the hypnosis script to me to help me stay in focus.
My midwife asked to check me again. I didn’t want her to, but we agreed in my birth plan that she could check me twice. I later found out that at this point I was 9.5 cm.
She said I could start pushing whenever I was ready. I did, and with time I started feeling more of the urge to.
She instructed me to push at the onset of a wave and rest right after.
Soon after, I felt a pop and thought, wow the baby’s head came out easily!
Then my midwife said, ok your water broke.
Oh boy there’s more, I thought.
After that, after every wave, the assistant put the doppler on my belly to time my baby’s heartbeat.
The pushing process felt very long.
They told me afterward that it was over 2 hours.
The waves were very close together and got so much more intense. Vomiting never stopped. But I thought, if only my hyperemesis vomiting was like this!
The pushing felt like one step forward and 2 steps back. I would say over and over, I just want to meet my baby!
I soon got worried I wasn’t making progress, but no one seemed concerned, so I felt calm and trusted my body’s process.
At this point, my husband turned on the Pushing Baby Out track (Hypnobabies track just for pushing), and it played on repeat for the next few hours.
Each person’s chant now changed.
Every time I would push,
My doula would say, you can push stronger than you think.
My midwife would say push push push.
And the assistant would say, hold your push a bit longer.
All that breathing practice paid off.
I would take the deepest breath in the shortest second, and then exhale while pushing for longer than I ever thought I could.
I got so tired and started saying, I’m just too tired already.
The day prior was one of the busiest, with my sister cooking prep meals to freeze, a carpenter building all of our Bookshelves, my cleaning lady preparing the home for birth, and a friend decorating in preparation for the birth. My husband was out all day filming a wedding. I went to bed so relaxed knowing that the next day had no plans other than my husband would do another maternity photoshoot of me on the beach. Well baby had other plans. I got 45 minutes of sleep that night.
I would fall into deep 30 second sleeps in between birth waves. My head would drop into the pool and wake me.
Carol, I said. You gotta pull the baby out now, I can’t push anymore.
Yes, you can, she said.
My doula whispered, you’re closer than you think. Reach in with your finger, you’ll feel your baby’s head. And I excitedly did. I felt relief realizing I was far along and continued pushing.
I started feeling strong burning and just didn’t want to continue. I was afraid I would hurt my body and felt like I was going in circles and not moving forward. I then recalled all the positive births I watched. And how the moment the mom started giving up, was shortly before the baby was born. I held onto hope. I thought of God and felt like I was completely his partner in this baby’s creation. I felt powerful and godly. I felt huge and above everything. And I knew that God created me perfectly with every natural ability to birth my baby.
My midwife said, push through the burning. I did, and then with my palm, cupped my baby’s head crowning.
I felt so much excitement.
My baby’s birthday will be Lag baomer!
I started going through baby names again in my head.
The pushing continued and sharp waves intensified even more. All I was doing was just begging for more and stronger massaging.
Then my midwife announced,
Ok Brochie you might not like this, but this is what we are doing.
She announced, Everyone, grab a part of Brochie and we are going to lift her onto her bed.
I relaxed back and closed my eyes, trusting them completely. Another strong birth wave came, and I said, wait, I’m laying down, how will you massage my back now?
My midwife said, you can push through it. I was upset for a second, but it was so intense I just pushed harder than I ever did, and…
Out came my baby!
It was 3:51 pm.
She immediately put her onto my chest.
I felt like my soul shot out of my body and looked down below.
Wow, it’s real and alive, I thought.
I couldn’t believe I just pushed a live human out of my body.
A human with a head, body, heart, fingers and everything.
I looked at her and her eyes stared wonderingly into mine.
I reached for her hand, and she right away held tightly onto my pinky.
I smiled and said, you did great baby, and you’re safe here with momma.
My midwife said, I know you wanted me to do delayed cord clamping so we’ll wait. I was so touched that in this moment of all going on and I forgot, she reminded me what I had requested in my birth plan.
She then asked, don’t you want to know the baby’s gender?
I completely forgot that I wanted to check it myself. I was elated to see that she was a girl!
They rubbed in all her vernix, and checked everything with her on me, while covered with a few dry towels. She cried a lot and did not like being fussed with.
My placenta was challenging to birth, and we had to work very hard to get it out. It was the biggest she’d ever seen!
I got to encapsulate so many that I took them for exactly 6 weeks!
She stayed on my chest while my midwives pushed out all the clots and gave me a couple stitches for 2nd degree tearing. It was uncomfortable but through it all I imagined my special safe place.
After they weighed her and documented everything- 8 pounds, and 20.5 inches-
I felt pretty faint, so my midwife offered me a bag of IV fluids, and I felt much better.
Shabbos was approaching and the assistant and my doula were getting ready to leave.
I individually expressed to each of them what they did during the birth that made me feel so taken care of and positive and wished them well.
My midwife stayed until midnight and surprised me with a visit the next day on Shabbos.
When all settled after the birth, I lay in bed wondering how it was already all over.
Just half a day?
When is the drama, fear and trauma of bright lights, loud voices, and pressure to comply to protocols that aren’t what my body needs?
Whenever I visited the birth center after that, my midwife along with the others, would say, we heard you had a really difficult birth, and the midwife was amazed at how you surrendered to it. You didn’t fight anything and just flowed along and had amazing mind control.
I always wondered, really? I had a difficult birth?
Now at 2 and a half months postpartum, not a day goes by that I don’t fondly reminisce about my birth.
I miss it so much.
And I say my birth, because I along with my baby were born that day.
It’s been a real journey for me in many ways to have gotten to this point of having such a beautiful home birthing experience.
Despite a very challenging difficult pregnancy, I remained focused to do the work toward my dream.
It took a lot of commitment, inner work, and support from some amazing people.
I took classes, courses, read books, and listened to affirmations throughout the day.
When I hear that Israeli song play today, and I recall the beginning moments of the birth, I feel flooded with emotion as I reminisce and proudly attest-
I have overcome so much in my past, and now I birthed my baby in my own bedroom with a positive experience!
Anything else is truly small in comparison, and I can do and be anything! Nothing will ever stand in my way!
Since my home birth, I do the opposite of what women have done to me during my pregnancy. I walk up to pregnant women and tell them how amazing my birth was as a first time mom. And I tell them that no matter how their birth turns out, it can be positive, they have all the rights, and they are the most powerful beings on the planet!
Thank you Hypnobabies