Slow start.....then "fast and furious" birthing!
JADEN SKYE'S BIRTH
It all began Saturday morning, October 15. After being officially 8 days past due, I awoke to 'bloody show', and regular 'pressure waves' (as we call them in Hypnobabies training) coming every 20 minutes or so. I spent the day with my mom and Kelly buying food, getting the house ready, mentally preparing for the journey I was about to embark on. One I had spent months preparing for, but couldn't believe was finally here. Saturday came and went and, disappointingly, Sunday slowly started to slip away. By Sunday late afternoon, pressure waves were anywhere from 8 to 12 minutes apart, and surprisingly long, lasting at least a minute and sometime 1 ½ minutes.
I will say, by this time my Hypnobabies techniques such as "turning off my light switch", so I could stay "limp, loose and relaxed" and "feel a very strong, powerful, natural anesthesia flow thru my body" were being utilized. Did I really need it at that time? Well, I'm not sure, but I can say it must have been working because I felt very relaxed and pain free. Was it uncomfortable? Occasionally, a little I guess, but nothing that prevented me from phoning a few friends, watching TV, eating normally, and basically going about my day. Nothing that would prevent me from knowing I'd do this again in a heartbeat! Sunday night was a little rough with very little sleep. I spent a good portion of the night listening to hypnosis CD's to stay connected and prepared as things progressed. I still was not in 'pain', but a little uncomfortable and eager to get the show on the road! I did, however, have two VERY strong pressure waves that surprised me out of a deep sleep that scared me a bit. In those two moments as I lay in bed, I had the thought of 'oh god, what if this doesn't work'! (Although it had been working so far!) With my IPOD next to the bed I was able to immediately listen to the Hypnobabies CD's and get right back into the hypnosis. It worked great for what I imagine were equally as strong pressure waves the rest of the night. It just seemed that when I was awake, and could see the pressure wave coming, I could prepare, making it completely fine.
Monday morning came and Kelly began actively assisting in my hypnosis. He did this by counting down and taking me deeper; rubbing his hands down my back and over my hips telling me to direct the anesthesia where I need it most; saying cue words like "peace" and "release" that my mind had learned as words to instantly bring anesthesia and relaxation into my body. When a pressure wave was over, I could turn my light switch to a middle position that still kept me in hypnosis, relaxed and anesthetized, but would allow me to move around. So, we went for a walk around the block, ate breakfast, took showers, and tried to go about our day. We called Lorri our midwife to tell her how things were going; pressure waves were still at a minute to 1 ½ minutes long, but occasionally only 45-50seconds. They were coming a little closer together now, more like 8 minutes average. Lorri suggested I come in and get checked. We drove to her office in Irvine, expecting to be told the end was soon approaching. I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in my life when she said I was a mere 1cm dilated! I couldn't believe it! How could I have been working so hard for so long for 1 lousy cm! I had also begun leaking amniotic fluid, which was a good sign; usually that will stimulate labor and getting things going.
At this point we had some decisions to make. Since I WAS leaking fluid, it was more imperative that the birth happen sooner than later; we could really only go 24 to 36 hours max, before a hospital birth could become necessary. Lorri said we could try and speed things up by taking castor oil. Castor oil works on the body as a laxative. Midwives have been using this trick for ages! Lorri's explanation was that by stimulating the bowels to contract, it sort of 'massaged' the uterus and could get the contractions going. (not that I was having any difficulty contracting! They were obviously just not very productive!)
So, 1pm at home, I was taking the Oh so delicious OJ / Castor oil concoction. All I can say is that stuff does its job! (Now I know why it's so often used in the naturopathic / holistic health field to assist with cleanses!) By 2pm the stuff was working. I dealt with its cleansing effects over the next 3 hours.
Sometime between 5-5:30pm, I convinced Kelly to at least get our doula on her way. I was feeling like we should call Lorri as well, but Kelly told me the pressure waves were still 6-8 min. apart, though steadily lasting in the 1 ½ minute range. He gently reminded me that we really didn't need to call the midwife until things got closer to "3-1-1" (1 minute long, 3 minutes apart, and been that way 1 hour.....OR, of course, if the water breaks) and we were moving in the right direction, but it would most likely still be 'a while'. WELL, something inside me was saying that wasn't right, but what do I know! I've never done this before, and science says women dilate somewhere in the 1cm / hour range, AND my midwife has been doing this for 20+ years! What I absolutely did know, however, was that I now needed the hypnosis, AND needed assistance staying in it! When the pressure waves got stronger, I had Kelly's voice to focus on, directing and guiding me and the hypnosis worked amazingly! He proceeded to assist me, but needed to also start prepping the birth room; fill the pool, set up the aromatherapy I researched and concocted, etc. So I had him call our doula so she would be here to guide me while he did his set up duties.
No sooner does Kelly get off the phone with her, do I decide I need to be out of the rocking chair and lying on my side on the bed. I lie down, have a pressure wave and my water breaks. Kelly immediately calls Lorri. "Good", Lorri says! "This may really get things moving now, so keep timing pressure waves and call as things progress". I proceed to then have 2 intense waves; the first lasting just over 2 minutes, followed by a 30sec break, and then another just over 3 minutes!!! At this point my legs start to uncontrollably shake, so Kelly calls Lorri right back. He's on the phone with her and I announce I feel the urge to push. Lorri says she's on her way. (She tells Kelly not to worry, I'd most likely be pushing for at least an hour before we'd see sign of the baby.....I think we should have figured out by this point that I don't seem to fall within the norms!?)
This last course of events went so quick as it was only about 5:45pm. After another wave, I take the opportunity to get myself to the bathroom since I feel the castor oil kicking in again. No sooner am I on the toilet (not sitting, but bracing myself with one hand on the seat and one on the adjacent countertop) and this incredible urge to push takes over. I utilize the "AAAHHHH" pushing technique we learned in Hypnobabies class, whereby I exhale and sort of work WITH the natural pushing of my uterus as opposed to bearing down, which will tighten the perineum and cause you to push against tight muscles. It's this improper, 'tight faced', bearing down technique that can lead to tears in the perineum. (Of which I had absolutely none!!!....guess the perineal massage and pushing technique really worked) And, let me say, this AAAHHHH felt just like that! It felt sooooo good, so exhilarating; like such a great release. I had no fear and no pain, and I knew our baby was on its way.
Kelly is kneeling in front of me this entire time, helping me stay relaxed and in 'center switch' hypnosis. He says he'll go fill up the birth pool. I literally grab him by the shirt and say "there's no time for the pool!!" We decide to use the tub, but I don't want Kelly to leave me....I'm thinking the baby is going to fall right into the toilet! He calls to my mom and has her get the tub running. I push one more time and then use the break in-between waves to walk as fast as possible to our other bathroom. Oh, the water felt soooo good! I push one more time while lying in the soothing water. Kelly looks down and sees the baby crowning. (and NO, it has not been even close to an hour of pushing before baby shows her head!)
SO, Kelly has my mom call Lorri to find out how far away she is and what he'll need to do if he's going to catch this baby on his own. At this point, we were thankful Kelly had listened and remembered everything we learned in our Hypnobabies class; he already had one hand on my perineum providing the support to prevent tearing, and was positioned to catch this baby's head should another push come. Lorri tells Kelly to have me exhale and not push with the next wave, in hopes of buying her a few more minutes to get here. Somehow, I manage that, and the baby's head doesn't move. My mom takes the phone from Kelly to assist them with directions, since the rain and dark are making it more difficult to follow the directions we'd given them. Meanwhile, I'm totally relaxed waiting for the next urge to push, helping my mom give the directions. My dad is out front, waving down the car as it comes to a screeching halt.
Lorri and Vanessa, her assistant, come running in, just as a push is about to come. Lorri sees what a handle Kelly has on the whole situation and allows him to continue with her instruction. They push the baby's head in a bit and then position my perineum with more support, and with the next push Jaden's head is out, supported by Daddy's hands. The cord is under her chin, so Lorri gently pulls it behind her head allowing a safer, clearer passage for the rest of her body. One more push and out comes our baby at 6:45pm! She is placed on my chest and stimulated with rubs from Lorri. (At this point our doula shows up! She missed the entire thing due to major traffic! She was as disappointed to miss it, as I was that we hadn't called her sooner) Midwives don't unnecessarily suction a baby, and Jaden was doing fine getting mucus out on her own. They did give her one little puff of Oxygen and out came her loud cry. She continued to cry while I sat in the tub, a good 5-10minutes.
The rest of the night involved getting cleaned up, and settled in with our new little bundle.
This was THE most beautiful, amazing, empowering, and rewarding experience I think I could ever have as a woman; AND the most incredible thing to really and truly share with Kelly. WE birthed our child! I can't imagine doing it any other way! Despite the speed with which it all took place, the energy was always very calm and mellow. Even my strong pressure waves at the end appeared, to anyone watching me, as nothing. The hypnosis worked wonders as I lie there motionless, calm, and relaxed. Yes, the feeling was intense and even painful for those last few waves, but nothing I couldn't bear. I also really believe those last few would have been different if my doula or Kelly could have helped keep me deeper in hypnosis! It worked so well the rest of the time, it was just difficult to maintain on my own right at the end with her coming so quickly. The actual pushing and birth were completely, 100% painless!! It actually felt really good! I never even had a 'ring of fire' sensation. It was all so worth it. I felt so present, so in control, yet, at the same time, totally able to let go and allow the wisdom of my body to do what women's bodies have been doing since time began.
Now we are settling in with Jaden Skye. She brings us so much joy, wonderment and laughter, along with a little frustration and challenge. Everything parenting is supposed to be, I guess. I look at the time and effort Kelly and I put into preparing for this experience and realize it not only prepared us for her birth, but also for the life long commitment and hard work we will put into parenting. We will dive into parenting the way we dove into our Hypnobabies birth preparation; with practice, dedication, endless research, staying connected to our heart and soul, and, more importantly, working as a team.
~ Lisa Olausen
